I read an article a few days ago that almost 80% of young women hate their body. They feel they are physically flawed in some way to the point of shame. And that included many who the researchers considered beautiful.
I have to admit that as I hover around 40 I have looked in the mirror and thought this isn’t as good as it used to be. I am not a fan of self-inflicted body shaming.
What this tells me is we judge our worth mainly by how we look. I have 2 kids and they are included in this discussion. They are certainly majorly concerned with how they look and if any friend (or enemy) is looking less attractive. It borders on obsessive.
I personally have not been in the dating or relationship pool for many years. That is up until a few months ago. That triggered “looks” obsession in me. I was no longer young and hot. I was getting wrinkles around my eyes. I thought maybe I should try botox and fillers.
I decided against it. For the past 9 years my life has been a journey from self-destruction and poor self-worth to one of authenticity, joy of accomplishment and stability- and mostly happy days. My focus has been internal and much less external. I have felt over the last few months what it feels like to refocus on looks and appearance and it isn’t an energy that supports me.
I take care of myself. I take pilates 2 times a week. I fell off of my pilates machine last week while I was taking my class and it was a bit disconcerting. I became unbalanced and whoop, there I went. I have lived through unbalanced periods in my life and I am very sensitive to what energies lead me in that direction. I am strong enough to stop it immediately. I quit my pilates class and now I go to Costco during those 2 times a week and eat all their samples.
Being authentic is everything to me. It is my stability. It’s the basis of my self-worth. I’m not jeopardizing that for someone else’s opinion.
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