Mindfulness and Anger

Mindfulness and Anger

When a desire with attachment is thwarted or denied, it turns to anger. Anger arises from dissatisfaction, from not getting what you want or getting what you don’t want, from the expectation unfulfilled. You become more and more attached to your expected outcome and when it doesn’t arrive you get angry. You seek wholeness, completion, and happiness in the fulfillment of desire with attachment and are constantly in dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction is the main form of suffering. Dissatisfaction and anger arise from feeling limited, betrayed, from not speaking up, from being pushed around, by not being seen or heard, by being passive and feeling futility. It starts as resentment. Resentment turns into frustration. Frustration turns into anger and becomes rage when not addressed.

 

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Mindfulness and Relationships

Mindfulness and Relationships

Relationships can be approached from 2 directions; need or as two fulfilled people sharing life. In relationship there should be both support and space. Looking to another to fulfill you will never work because fulfillment is a personal, internal experience. Share life, but have a life, each your own. Relationship that smothers or binds another or covers another with expectations will suffocate the other in need. It becomes energetically stifling.

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4 Ways to Enjoy a Mindful Vacation

4 Ways to Enjoy a Mindful Vacation

Have your vacations lost their luster? Are you returning from your getaways feeling out of sorts- not one bit refreshed? Whether you’re embarking on a cross-country road trip, lying on a white sand beach with your toes inches away from aquamarine water, or simply tossing a tent in the trunk for a two-day camping getaway at a state park, the point it to get away and leave stress behind. Unfortunately, many vacationers end up packing stress right alongside their swimsuits and shorts. Whether it’s figuring out the logistics of a tight travel schedule, soothing cranky, over-tired children, or dealing with lost reservations, it’s no wonder that more and more people return from their getaways with a vacation hangover.

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4 Soul-Damaging Habits that Block Conscious Living

4 Soul-Damaging Habits that Block Conscious Living

Is your life feeling unbalanced? Are you yearning to live more consciously, but continuously feeling pulled back under by waves of stress, toxicity, and personal drama? You are not alone, my friends. So many lovely souls are struggling to find balance between conscious living and everyday life routines. Luckily, this a balancing act that can be beautifully executed by committing to self-care and walking away from some very soul-damaging habits.

 

Let Go of Perfectionism

In every aspect of our lives from our jobs, our relationships, and even our hobbies, it seems that we are not satisfied until perfectionism has been achieved. While it may be true that we need to focus on precision in some areas, that isn't an across-the-board truth. For example, a surgeon needs to make sure she perfectly executes the removal of a patient's gallbladder. Does everything else in her life need to be so neat and tidy without error?

 

The answer is no.

If we want to lead mindful lives, we must let go of the notion that we have one destination: perfectionism. In truth, we have many destinations awaiting us, my friends. Getting to these destinations doesn't require perfection, but a willingness to walk through a little messiness to find the destination that is best for you now.

 

Shed Hateful Thoughts

How many times a day do we say we hate something? We hate traffic. We hate cooking dinner. We hate doing laundry. Hate is such a strong, passionate word that feeds our bodies a spoonful of toxicity everytime we say the words I hate out loud. The next time you’re stuck with a task you dislike think of a different way to express your feelings. Try putting a positive spin on the situation. Small thought modifications can have a huge impact on your happiness and well-being.

 

Forgive Always

Right on the heels of hateful thoughts is the inability to let forgiveness guide our actions. Forgiveness is something that many people, including myself, struggle with because we believe that forgiving someone is saying what they did didn't matter or have any effect on us.

 

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

This is one of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr. Forgiving someone isn't so much about letting them off the hook for hurting you, but it's about rising above the pain, the betrayal, and the loss, so that you can heal yourself. When we hold anger in bodies, we're snuffing out the good. We are our thoughts, my dear thought warriors. On some level, we realize this so why are we choosing to hold onto so much anger in our bodies? Let it go. Choose to consciously hold forgiveness in your heart to find joy that is hiding in plain sight.

 

Block Self-Deprecating Thoughts

We can blame others for damaging our souls, but it is our self-deprecating thoughts that cause the most injury. Why are we putting ourselves down? Were you taught that a little self-deprecating humor was the perfect shield against humiliation? Were you taught to laugh and find fault with yourself before others find it in you? It’s true that we tend to take ourselves too seriously. It’s a uniquely human condition. Yet, making fun of yourself and treating yourself as less than will never invite conscious living into your life because it’s shielding the authentic you from penetrating the force field you’ve built around your thoughts.

 

My lovely, beautiful thought warriors, I have one request of you. As you move forward on your mindful living journey, please be gentle with yourself. Give yourself room to grow and room to fall. Set aside perfectionist tendencies in areas of your life where they don’t belong. Thinking kindly of yourself and others. Forgive quickly so you can rise with grace and love. Conscious living is happy living. It’s a superpower that we all have if we’re willing to connect with it.

 

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Mindfulness of relationship

Mindfulness of relationship

When you are in a relationship, you are engaging in a situation that is designed to trigger what is hidden and unresolved within you. Within is always the first place to look when you feel triggered by the relationship. It is normal for your judgement and blame to be focused upon the other, but the first place to feel is inside you when you are triggered.

 

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Waste

trash

Most people in the West have risen above survival mode and have joined a consumer driven society. We have so much now that we no longer hold the respect and regard for things- not like when they were scarce. I love old homes and always find that the closets are very small with barely enough space for a third of my clothes and jackets. Only 70 years ago people only had one or two jackets. I just counted and I have 8 jackets. I also have 9 pairs of shoes and probably that many pairs of jeans.

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No protection from assault

No protection from assault

Almost all states have enacted legislation that protects citizens from assault, intimidation and threats based on a victim’s race, religion, color, disability, sex, national origin or sexual orientation. That is except South Carolina, Indiana, Wyoming, Arkansas and Georgia.

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SEX: The things you don’t talk about

SEX: The things you don’t talk about

You are probably like most people who are afraid to tell their partner what they really want to do sexually. Are you afraid you will disgust your partner? That they will see your nasty side and turn away in judgement? Would you like to be with someone, for just awhile, who you can go wild with and do everything you’ve ever thought about, without fear of judgement?

 

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Elton John: #1 in generosity

Elton John: #1 in generosity

Elton John supports over 58 charities around the world. In 2004 he donated over $43,000,000 to charities, making him the most generous man in music in the world that year. For many years he has held that distinction. In 2008 he donated 120 motorcycles to doctors and nurses in Lesotho, a small African country, so they could attend to the sick and dying in outlying areas of the poverty racked country. In 1997 he helped raise over $40,000,000 for charity through sales of his single, Candle in the Wind, released after Princess Diana’s death.

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The only place power exists

The only place power exists

The present moment is the doorway to your magnificence and your limitless possibilities. It is the entry point to the soul. And loving ‘what is’ in the present moment elevates ‘what is’ to the vibration of love. It allows you to create a bridge of love to another in this moment. When you think life is a condition you have to overcome, change or mold into shape, you cut yourself off from the fundamental reality of the present moment. That present moment fundamental reality of life is love and light.

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How to raise children

How to raise children

Children are spending time with us. They are not ours. Children should always be respected as we would respect a special teacher.

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Creating a Toolbox by Joy Jacot

Creating a Toolbox by Joy Jacot

 I am not much of a handyman. But I do keep a toolbox in my home – it has the basics in it – hammer, nails, screwdrivers (both kinds!), screws, a picture hanging kit, and pliers. In much the same way, I find it so helpful to keep a metaphysical/spiritual toolbox. I have studied many teachings and I have learned to: “take what you need and leave the rest”, and so over the years, I have taken the exercises, practices, affirmations – whatever tool has resonated with me, and I’ve put these in my toolbox.

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Ecological Mindfulness or Getting Angry

Ecological Mindfulness or Getting Angry

When we come together to discuss things like the Environmental Protection Agency, Global Warming or The Clean Air Act let us arrive with compassion for ourselves, the other and the planet. Some feel we need to do away with these things to further prosperity and others think we need more regulation to protect the planet. When we come together with distrust, pre-conceptions, anger and fear we miss the point of the present moment.

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5 minutes to forgiveness

5 minutes to forgiveness

When someone does something “to” you there is a tendency to hold that memory and ruminate on it. It’s like a cow with multiple stomachs. We might chew on it and swallow it only to continue to hold it and subtly chew on it, possibly forever. It tends to create gas though, just like the cow does. Cows are the largest contributors to methane. When we hold onto something someone has done to us we also create negative fumes and energy within. Sometimes we let it out and expand the negativity.

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Matt Damon: bringing pure water to the world

Matt Damon: bringing pure water to the world

Matt Damon and a group of dedicated humanitarians have created Water.org. So far they have delivered pure water and sanitation to over 5 million people around the world who were without it.

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11 Billion dollars to create change

11 Billion dollars to create change

Darren Walker is the head of the Ford Foundation. He was born in extreme poverty and is black. His mission is social justice and addressing inequality. He is from rural Texas and grew up in a Head-Start program. He made millions in the ‘80’s on Wall Street and now heads the 11.2 billion dollar Ford Foundation.

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5 Steps to Deeply Listening

5 Steps to Deeply Listening

How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone who was either on their cell phone, half listening or self-absorbed and clearly not interested in hearing you? How did you feel? Have you ever found yourself nodding at someone while you were thinking about something totally different; the kid you needed to pick-up at soccer practice, the deadline at work or the cheating partner who you are very, very mad at?

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Save your relationship

Save your relationship

There are two main reasons relationships face difficut patches. One is we get stressed and the other is we get lost in the past or future and can’t move on, forgive and create expansion and joy. Mindfulness addresses both of these issues.

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From Fear to Freedom

From Fear to Freedom

There is a lot of talk now-a-days about power and how certain ideas and people have been able to rise to power all over the world. There is a certain strain that runs through situations where discrimination, separation, ideas of better than, rejection of what is different, and an increased level of attack and reaction dominate. That strain is fear and lack.


Fear and lack cause separation. Fear is a wall of energy that we create when we fear someone or something and we do this as a protective mechanism. It is a primitive reaction to survive or preserve well-being. When we feel lack, we feel that there isn’t enough to go around and we become protective of our life, our ways and our things. This accentuates our fears.

The separation that arises from fear and lack is the essential limitation to our state of consciousness and the outward expansion of our life. And it works in a vicious cycle; separation causes fear and fear causes separation.

When we are in fear and lack we lash out, we build walls, be reject people who are different and we live in reactive mode, sometimes war-like mode. Some see these reactive tendencies as power, but it is reactive fear.

What are the effects of connection? Enthusiasm, compassion, kindness, openness and peace. This is the opposite of separation and fear. In fear and separation we live in reaction, and not response. We become thin-skinned and lose our ‘allowing and accepting’ nature. We grasp for things to be our way only and push away all people, places and things that disagree or are different.

Being mindful of how we are thinking is critical to our peace of mind. Accepting and resolving our fears are necessary for our expansion and joy. If we want fulfillment and peace, then we need to look deeply at how we see the world and what we hold within us.

And this goes for both “sides”. If one is liberal or one is conservative, if one is black or one is white, if one is educated or one is uneducated, if one is wealthy or one is poor, if one is democratic or one is authoritarian, if one is gay or one is straight……. Do you see the ‘other’ as wrong or less than or want them kept out? Do you see yourself as better, right or deserving of more because you are right and better?

This isn’t really about rightness or being better. This is about fulfillment and peace, allowing and acceptance, and ultimately your happiness.

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Books for cultivating Mindfulness

Books for cultivating Mindfulness

For the best information about Mindfulness practices, stories, recommended approaches and real-life support the list of books below can serve as a great foundation for your mindfulness practices.

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