As most of you don’t know I am a Buddhist. I go to a Buddhist center every Sunday evening. Half of the people there are in AA so I felt right at home from day one. Buddhists are a psychological sort. They are definitely not religious but are spiritual, whatever that means. They talk a lot about suffering and the 8 fold path to eliminating suffering. Here is my 8 fold path of things you should never do so you won’t suffer:
1) Piss in the wind.
2) Ask the policeman who just pulled you over if he was a member of the Village People
3) Spit straight up.
4) Insist that “I buried Paul” was your discovery on the White album
5) Eat it if it smells.
6) Play leapfrog with a unicorn.
7) Use Monster glue for a lubricant
8) Correct the spelling on Republican sign
9) Ask the Pope if he would put in a good word for you
10) Trust Kim-Jong-Un
11) Sing in public after that 9th Jell-o-shot
12) Macrame another hanging plant holder
13) Tell your wife she’s cute when she’s pissed off
14) Pee in the men’s room with no hands
15) Tell the girl you’re on the first date with what a great appetite she has.
16) Ask someone from the south if their cousin is a good kisser
OK, so that is 16. It has always taken me twice as long to get it so I needed a little more help. Buddha would have approved I’m sure.
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