Fractured Buddhism

Fractured Buddhism

As most of you don’t know I am a Buddhist. I go to a Buddhist center every Sunday evening. Half of the people there are in AA so I felt right at home from day one. Buddhists are a psychological sort. They are definitely not religious but are spiritual, whatever that means. They talk a lot about suffering and the 8 fold path to eliminating suffering. Here is my 8 fold path of things you should never do so you won’t suffer:

1) Piss in the wind.

2) Ask the policeman who just pulled you over if he was a member of the Village People

3) Spit straight up.

4) Insist that “I buried Paul” was your discovery on the White album

5) Eat it if it smells.

6) Play leapfrog with a unicorn.

7) Use Monster glue for a lubricant

8) Correct the spelling on Republican sign

9) Ask the Pope if he would put in a good word for you

10) Trust Kim-Jong-Un

11) Sing in public after that 9th Jell-o-shot   

12) Macrame another hanging plant holder

13) Tell your wife she’s cute when she’s pissed off

14) Pee in the men’s room with no hands

15) Tell the girl you’re on the first date with what a great appetite she has.

16) Ask someone from the south if their cousin is a good kisser

OK, so that is 16. It has always taken me twice as long to get it so I needed a little more help. Buddha would have approved I’m sure.

 

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Monday, 15 October 2018
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About the Author

I’m a writer, parent of 2 amazing kids, and been through all 12 steps in AA. I am also divorced. My main financial burden is affording my psychologist and my main pleasure is being able to fall asleep without sleeping pills, which doesn’t always happen. My past feels like a lifetime ago and my present feels like a present. I’m one of those people who literally wakes up in the morning grateful that I get to have another day and didn’t kill myself 12 years ago. Mostly my life is now a blessing. I have a lot of stories from those days when it didn’t feel life was a blessing and also about now, wh ...

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