Money is ruining our relationship

Money is ruining our relationship

Most people refuse to really discuss money and finances. They would rather yell or fight about the other person’s irresponsibility or lack of contribution. How do you calmly figure it out together without getting into overwhelm? It’s easy in the beginning when everything is love and infatuation. But, in time, reality hits, bills pile up and spending decisions (and restrictions) must be dealt with.

Do you have huge student loans that must be paid off each month and the other person is feeling responsible for something that isn’t really their responsibility? 40 million Americans have 1.2 trillion in student debt. Do you have credit card balances that make you wince and you are failing to meet the minimum payments, adding to the balances every month? How does that make your partner feel? Total debt in the U.S. is over 60 trillion dollars. Feel the pressure?

Money has to be discussed in order to have a healthy relationship….period. Studies indicate that over 80% of couples who have honest discussions about finances are happy. The reverse is true for those who don’t; 42% unhappy when they don’t talk about it. 41% of women want their partner to have some business knowledge. For people who have ended relationships because of money, the majority indicated the reason was that their partner put them into debt.

If you haven’t created a budget, do it. There is no way you can know your assets and liabilities and your income and expenses, unless you do that. Without that you are winging it and that is not mindful choice. Once you know where you are, act responsibly. So many people will chose another $8,000 vacation over funding a retirement account or a child’s college fund. Make that choice together so that when it’s 20 years down the road you don’t have to look at each other and fight. You decided together to take the vacation, you created an amazing memory together, and now you can discuss together with Johnny how he needs to pay for his education. Live consciously, live informed, take responsibly. You will be happier together.

                                                                                                

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Saturday, 20 October 2018
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About the Author

My mother and father slept in separate bedrooms the last 15 years of their marriage. They really didn’t like each other; not the best role models. I made a commitment to myself that if I was to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I would be prepared, educated and ready. Figuring it out as I went along wasn’t acceptable to me. 4 years of college learning about relationships followed by 2 years becoming a meditation teacher learning about myself and how we experience and understand life brought me to the point, some years ago, where I began writing about relationships. ...

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