I have been home recovering from my heart attack. In my entire life I have never rested like this. The first couple days I knew I needed it and was tired so it was easy. The next few days I was going stir crazy and wanted to go back to work. I had agreed to take 2 weeks off and simply relax and maybe take up a regular meditation practice. I needed to be calm.
Then I got the bills in the mail. There went my stress levels. $200 for gauze. I have insurance but there were so many bills and medications. This was still going to cost me thousands of dollars. My father used to tell this story of a man who suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Send the bill to my Brother-in-law."
I felt blessed to have insurance and to have people who loved me. I will get back to work in a week and life will go on. But I admit I feel a strange vulnerability I have never felt before. Now I will have to contemplate my own death.
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