Relationship: Fighting and conflict

Relationship: Fighting and conflict

If you have a relationship where you never fight, there is probably more problems than if you do fight. That means you don’t get real and honest and you are playing a surface game of being perfect all the time. Leave it to Beaver isn’t real. If you fight all the time you may be in a toxic relationship and that isn’t healthy. A little conflict is inevitable but no conflict or always conflict are extremes that should alert you to a big issue.

 

First see if you are living in the past and holding onto issues that you need to move beyond. If the issues are current and unresolved try honesty and clarity. When you have these action can spontaneously follow.

 

See if you are trapped in victimhood. If you are coming from a place of poor me or I always am a doormat, find self-respect and authenticity within yourself and create your relationship from that level. If you are trapped in reactivity instead of response, know there is a problem inside you and look deeply into that.

 

If you are trapped in habitual response see that and know it will not serve the relationship well. Know you cannot change your partner but you can be a vessel of love, compassion and understanding and that can permeate everything and everyone around you.

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Comments 1

James Henthorn on Saturday, 19 August 2017 04:57

Great post!

Great post!
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About the Author

My mother and father slept in separate bedrooms the last 15 years of their marriage. They really didn’t like each other; not the best role models. I made a commitment to myself that if I was to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I would be prepared, educated and ready. Figuring it out as I went along wasn’t acceptable to me. 4 years of college learning about relationships followed by 2 years becoming a meditation teacher learning about myself and how we experience and understand life brought me to the point, some years ago, where I began writing about relationships. ...

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