Fear arises when we reach the boundary of our comfort zone. It is an energy that forms a protective wall. What is the greatest fear in a relationship? Being seen.
We are seldom authentic in our life. We are layer after layer of conditioning from everyone we have ever met; parents, siblings, friends, teachers, pastors, gurus, society. We live our life and create a facade so we will be loved and accepted. So when we commit to being with someone we expose ourselves to a situation where the other might really see who we are; all of our flaws and idiosyncrasies.
Most people feel they are unworthy. How could someone else really love me if they actually knew me? I will never show them my flaws, my shortcomings. I will never be totally honest. They would leave if they ‘saw’ me. So intimacy become impossible and fear arises.
The only option, if we want true intimacy on all levels and if we do not want to live in fear, is to be authentic. This can be terrifying and, for many, a totally new and frightening experience. There’s a huge risk of being ‘seen’. Take the risk. Go beyond your comfort zone and let people ’see’ you. You will lose people but if they can’t love you for who you authentically are they shouldn’t be in your life. The option is separation and fear. Not a good option. Be yourself and be free.
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