Relationships: Loving Being Alone

Relationships: Loving Being Alone

There are many people who are in relationships simply because they do not like being alone. This is one of the worst reasons possible for deciding to be with someone else. In this situation relationship becomes a distraction.

I would suggest if you are single or you have just gotten out of a relationship to take some time and examine how you feel and think when you are really alone. How do you relate to your emotions? How does it feel to rest with yourself? Do you enjoy the silence? Can you be accepting with your thoughts and feelings? Do you immediately want to go do something to fill up that empty space? Do you obsess about being with someone? Are you constantly on dating sites or looking around for someone?

This is an important consideration. If you can’t be alone with yourself then there is work to do, resolution to achieve, and peace and fulfillment internally to foster before you attempt to be in a relationship. Relationship is about sharing life side by side. It is not about the other fulfilling you, making you whole or completing each other. Fulfillment, peace and completion is a singular, inside job and it is critical that you do the work. And it is better done before you enter a relationship than after you are in one. If you are seeking all of that from another you will live with disappointment. It is not their job to fulfill you. That’s your responsibility.

Relationships are a ‘walking side by side’ proposition – not a ‘be me’ or ‘save me’ proposition. It is the energy that creates oneness and the energy of a relationship is achieved by allowing each person to be themselves and sharing life creatively, expansively and joyfully. You need to be happy alone in order to be happy in a relationship.

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Monday, 15 October 2018
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About the Author

My mother and father slept in separate bedrooms the last 15 years of their marriage. They really didn’t like each other; not the best role models. I made a commitment to myself that if I was to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I would be prepared, educated and ready. Figuring it out as I went along wasn’t acceptable to me. 4 years of college learning about relationships followed by 2 years becoming a meditation teacher learning about myself and how we experience and understand life brought me to the point, some years ago, where I began writing about relationships. ...

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