So you have broken up with someone and you are with someone new. It’s late at night and you are feeling your new partner (or 3rd date) just irritated you at dinner. You start remembering your ex and how you both laughed at that joke and how much fun you had in Hawaii. She/He was so kind to your mother, who was difficult to love. You’ll never meet anyone like her/him again. Why did you brake-up anyway? Will she/he want you back? Will she/he text you or call?
You have completely forgotten the reality of your ex-relationship. It’s back to fantasy land. The highest probability is you have started to date too soon after your break-up. Need and loneliness have set in and you should realize that you have not yet become dependent upon yourself for your own well-being, happiness and stability. You are grasping for it in the new person or in a fanciful non-fact-based assessment of your ex. This is a signpost to stop and be alone for a longer period of time to find your interior compass.
But what if this new person is the one? Highly unlikely because you are not yet the one for you so it’s impossible to even receive what the other has to give as long as you are coming from need.
Sign up to receive the best articles, expert tips and recipes from Mindfulness Green...
PLUS get your free guide to peace of mind: