Relationships: Triggers

Relationships: Triggers

It seems that one of the major reasons we get into relationships is to expand our awareness and happiness. Relationships serve this purpose by triggering what is unresolved within us. When we are triggered our tendency is to judge and blame the other but what is actually happening is our unresolved issues within us are being brought to the surface to be looked at and brought to resolution. And this triggering will continue until we complete this process. We should be grateful to our partner for accelerating this process- but if we aren’t aware of what is actually happening, we could be in for a lot of blame, fights and a divorce.

Triggers tend to be irritants. What unsettles you, what makes you roll your eyes, what makes you judge the other as having a problem and what pisses you off? These are triggers and they are arising from inside you. They may have been activated from outside of you but unless it was inside you it couldn’t be happening.

Someone can be as irritating as hell but if you are completely resolved within they have no possibility of actually irritating or triggering you. So next time you get triggered, look within first. Train yourself to recognize the blessing of becoming triggered and use it as an opportunity that it represents. Don’t automatically go to that habitual place of blame or criticism of the other. Watch your reaction to being triggered and seize the chance to expand and resolve.

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Monday, 15 October 2018
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About the Author

My mother and father slept in separate bedrooms the last 15 years of their marriage. They really didn’t like each other; not the best role models. I made a commitment to myself that if I was to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I would be prepared, educated and ready. Figuring it out as I went along wasn’t acceptable to me. 4 years of college learning about relationships followed by 2 years becoming a meditation teacher learning about myself and how we experience and understand life brought me to the point, some years ago, where I began writing about relationships. ...

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