Living life in peace

Living life in peace

Internal peace and fulfillment are the two basic things we want. But we live our lives basically in opposition to peace and fulfillment because we resist life. If resistance to life was gone we would simply exist in peace and fulfillment because that is our essential nature.

 

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Mindfulness and the joy of living

Mindfulness and the joy of living

Life was created for the expansion of bliss. This may be hard to believe because most of the time this is not your experience. Your nature is joy and it is the expression and expansion of your nature that is the reason you are here. Enjoying life is to be in alignment with your nature and your purpose.

 

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Abundance

Abundance

Most of us struggle and work hard and try to control life and people in order to make our lives successful. Feel that energy and those words; struggle, hard, control. There is no flow. There is resistance. When we are in connection to ourselves and life, there is flow and ease. When we are being authentic and in authentic connection to who we are and doing what is our unique signature, we flow.

 

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Another Inch Of Fat

image by PhonlamaiPhoto / Istock

After the holidays ended in January I noticed a distinct additional inch of fat around my waist. This is part of my “not caring what people think of me” campaign that I successfully have been waging. If I am thin or fat, I love myself. Well, when that inch appeared it all fell apart. I might have loved myself but I have hated that additional inch and have struggled with what to do about it. Now, mind you, I didn’t do anything about it actually, but I have struggled.

  

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Panic attack

panicattack

My best friend got me through my divorce and was there for me- through 2 years of crying that followed- and AA that followed that. I probably owe her my life. Now she is going through a similar situation. She is getting divorced.

 

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Should I get glasses?

glassesDoris

I have been noticing lately that when I’m in the market it’s a little difficult reading the ingredient labels. I read in bed every night and have increased the font size slightly on my Kindle. So I’ve had an inner debate going on whether to see an eye doctor. It’s a distinct sign of getting old and I was resisting it.

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What my dog taught me

What my dog taught me

About 9 months ago I had to put my dog down. I took her to the vet and he told me she had arthritis so badly that the pain would become difficult for her to deal with soon. She was having great difficulty walking and he had put her on Prednisone. It really helped for a while but now it wasn’t working. She could barely walk. It was torture to watch her decline and the vet was right. I had dreams about my dog for several months and she still appears in my dreams occasionally.

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Me and my computer

Me and my computer

So on the evening news they reported that my computer might be spying on me even if it’s off? This is totally beyond my understanding and a bit creepy. I do not understand computers and I am capable of only the basics; sending e-mails, creating a simple word document and getting on the internet. I have no apps on my phone and I have never streamed. I told my daughter the other day, when my computer wouldn’t come on the way it usually does, that my computer was tired and slow. She said it was the hard drive. I thought she was making an exhausting traffic joke. 

 

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Drip, drip, drip

Drip, drip, drip

On Saturday morning I slept in an hour longer, was feeling happy and rested and walked into my kitchen to get a cup of coffee that my coffee maker had so politely made because of the miracle of a timer. As I stepped in front of the pot to grab it my sock covered feet absorbed a small lake of water on the kitchen floor. There was that sinking feeling; my morning is ruined, my pocketbook is ruined, my nerves are ruined and my plans are ruined.

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LIFE: Bullying

LIFE: Bullying

My daughter woke up the other day and said she couldn’t go to school because she didn’t feel good. I said where doesn’t it feel good and she gave me her ‘look’ and said, “At school”.

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LIFE: My daughter’s boyfriend

LIFE: My daughter’s boyfriend

My daughter is 13. She just told me she has a boyfriend. To my knowledge, this is her first. After working through my panic attack and contemplating whether I should quit AA I decided I needed a lot more information. Were they sleeping together? Was he from her school or from the wrong side of the tracks; ie, was he rich? Could he provide for my retirement?

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LIFE: I can’t relate

LIFE: I can’t relate

My 13 year old daughter came home from school and said she had a joke.

Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello” from the other side!

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My Success with Online Dating

My Success with Online Dating

I have been single for 12 years now. I have only been on a couple dates in that entire time. I don’t drink so I don’t hang out at bars or go to a lot of social events where I could meet someone. I made the decision I was ready to date so I signed up on Match.com

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Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

I used to go to all the Abraham-Hicks meetings. I believed in the Law of Attraction. I am certain I attracted a gay husband because I was really wanting a great interior decorator.

So I have this great life now. I have a job, I am healthy, I am off drugs and alcohol, I am happily single and I am writing, which I love. I must have attracted all of that. Well, I’m not exactly sure. My sobriety was the result of an intervention so I didn’t really chose it or want it at the time. My children were both ‘mistakes’ and ‘unplanned’ events that caused me great stress at the time. I never wanted to be single and am certain my path to self-worth was to be married and have someone else love me. And my job is a requirement that I would put in second place after my first place choice: retirement.

And I don’t really own that I created the healthy description. When I got divorced 11 years ago I was 20 pounds overweight. I lost 30 pounds that year and discovered what the words stress, implode and downward spiral really meant. Weight-watchers had nothing to do with my beautifully slender figure.

But look how it turned out. I now live consciously, love my children more than they can ever know, am financially stable, look great, feel happy and independent and most of all I love myself. That’s it. The one thing I always wanted to attract wasn’t outside myself. It was that I wanted to love, appreciate and value myself. That’s an energy, a realization of what really is. It isn’t something that has to be created or attracted. It’s realization. When I changed that energy, my life transformed.

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Fractured Buddhism

Fractured Buddhism

As most of you don’t know I am a Buddhist. I go to a Buddhist center every Sunday evening. Half of the people there are in AA so I felt right at home from day one. Buddhists are a psychological sort. They are definitely not religious but are spiritual, whatever that means. They talk a lot about suffering and the 8 fold path to eliminating suffering. Here is my 8 fold path of things you should never do so you won’t suffer:

1) Piss in the wind.

2) Ask the policeman who just pulled you over if he was a member of the Village People

3) Spit straight up.

4) Insist that “I buried Paul” was your discovery on the White album

5) Eat it if it smells.

6) Play leapfrog with a unicorn.

7) Use Monster glue for a lubricant

8) Correct the spelling on Republican sign

9) Ask the Pope if he would put in a good word for you

10) Trust Kim-Jong-Un

11) Sing in public after that 9th Jell-o-shot   

12) Macrame another hanging plant holder

13) Tell your wife she’s cute when she’s pissed off

14) Pee in the men’s room with no hands

15) Tell the girl you’re on the first date with what a great appetite she has.

16) Ask someone from the south if their cousin is a good kisser

OK, so that is 16. It has always taken me twice as long to get it so I needed a little more help. Buddha would have approved I’m sure.

 

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It’s all Perfect

It’s all Perfect

So the other night I’m sitting around watching the evening news about radical terrorists and my daughter is 10 feet away on her phone on Snapchat. I have absolutely no idea what Snapchat is. I asked her, “Do you think you could be radicalized?” She looks at me with disdain and says, “Oh my God, berkas just come in black and that is so not my color.” One fear handled.

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You’re Working My Last Good Nerve

You’re Working My Last Good Nerve

I’ve been divorced for 11 years and I ran into my ex-husband at the True Value yesterday. Hadn’t seen him for 4 years and I wanted him to look like 10 miles of bad road. I really wanted to see that without me he had gone down the tubes. But he looked just like he always did; happy, handsome and with his new boyfriend, 12 years his younger. I felt guilty because I wanted his hot boyfriend. Of course I was flustered and wanted to appear confident and happy. I said hi, bought my WD40 and left.

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