Most dating experiences that don’t end in marriage end after 5 to 6 months. In most marriages the honeymoon period is the first 6 months. Then reality crashes in. Why is that?
There is a big difference between infatuation and love. Infatuation is when you project all of your hopes and dreams and ideals upon another person. They become the fantasy, the white night on the horse taking you off to the castle or the perfect Cinderella. We are conditioned by society and advertising that this fantasy can be ours and it’s out there for us.
If you’ve used online dating, how many times have you seen a picture and read a profile and thought this one is perfect. This is a minor form of infatuation- projection fantasy. Then you talked or met and you realized they were as messed up as you are. Or you met and they were cute or handsome and you were taken by them. It took a few more months to realize who they really were.
It generally takes 5-6 months to really get to know someone; how do they treat the waiter, how do they clean up after themselves, do they remember your birthday, are they responsible, are they truthful, how do they handle stress, can they communicate, can they express intimacy? It’s an accumulation of things. It’s during these 6 months that reality hits. It may be a good, a mixed or a bad realization. So you either marry them, continue to explore it or you leave.
Don’t confuse infatuation with love. Love holds respect and appreciation. Love isn’t about neediness or helplessness or power or projection. Love is an energy that grows with time. Infatuation can grow into love but, in itself, infatuation is not love. Infatuation is fantasy, Love is real.
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